Joy Jangdhari

 Author/ Speaker

Ceo of-Joy Events 

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Introduction Technology For Your Psychology Program

  CE-CEU program

  "Technology For Your Psychology "

Workbook / Handouts

From the Author Joy Jangdhari

Living Life As A Joyful Being: be ready for whatever life brings!


                                                                                                                        One day CE- CEU program

  • Clinicians can recommend to their patients  as part of a  comprehensive Lifestyle Medicine Approach"
- Recommended by -Gregory S. Pokrywks  MD FACP FNLA NCMP



Introduction:  Looking Within:   "Know Thyself"

How Core Beliefs Empower Reactions 

What you focus on is how you are evaluating things how you evaluate things determine how you feel.  Thinking is always evaluating asking the question what does this mean, and finding out what should you do.

In this session, we see the filters that can prevent us from seeing things clearly and keeps the scale off balance in the areas of perception.  The belief that we are open-minded and objective are usually often filtered and even obscured by pre-existing beliefs, fears, ideas of our upbringing, our values, our past experiences.  As you go through your life you usually look at other people and events from your own perspective and only see things and situations from your own point of view.  Each and every one of us "fight" to defend and protect our own point of view and perspectives...but do you really know what you are fighting to defend and protect?  Where does your perspective come from?   Your individual perspective depends on how you were raised, the events you experienced throughout your life, and the stories you told yourself about those events.  Family friends, peers, teachers, religious groups, cultural groups etc..have taught you what was right, wrong, good, bad, acceptable, and unacceptable.  This education in "who we should be" has been called "domestic conditioning" by some.

 Altered perspectives

Much of the drama and distress in your life stems from not just your experiences, but the reactions, perceptions, beliefs, and conditioning about those experiences that you have taken from others.

"Know Thyself"

What are some of the beliefs that you encountered while you were growing up?  Looking within is stepping into an internal realm.  You become a witness to your own acts.   

Taking a Look at your "Conditioning"

Exercise:


What were you told about People?


Who were the good people?


What kind of people was acceptable?


What kind of people were not acceptable?


What religion was good?


What religion was bad?


What cultures were acceptable?


What cultures were not acceptable?


What made you strong and healthy?


What made you weak and feeble? 


What made you good?


What made you bad?


What was right?


What was wrong?


What made you smart?


What made you dum?


What  "stands" you taken because of your own beliefs? 


The word "stand" seems to indicate an immovable, unchangeable position.  But by looking within, you will find your "stands" are simply patterns of reactions and behaviors you took on based on past situations or experiences, and therefore completely within your power to change.

You will see rationalizations, justifications or even excuses as to why you have taken those stands.  Looking with is an act of integrity with yourself.  It allows those patterns of reactions and behaviors to take a rest long enough to look one step deeper... to your thoughts and feelings at the moment of the incident.

What were you thinking and feeling right before you reacted?  Be still. Be quiet.  Breathe evenly. 

Take a moment and check in with yourself, objectively observing each and every aspect of your life as if you were simply watching it all on a TV or movie screen. 

Allowing your cycle of reaction and justification to slow and stop temporarily, surrender those stuck thoughts and feelings to whoever or whatever prompted your reaction. 


Creation of your stories

Your thoughts are the author of the "stories" you have written about who you are and your experiences in life.  Your stories are more fiction than reality until you look at your beliefs.  Your stories try to live your life for you, and resist your taking control and really " deciding" what is YOUR truth.  But the stories were not there when you first breathed life.  As a baby, your mind was completely open to everything around you.   As you grew up, your image of yourself became less based on your actual reflection ( your own feelings and belief in yourself) and more based on the way other people saw you and convinced you they were seeing the "real you".  As these images piled on over time, your self-image became more distorted.  If your mind was filled with negative comments, you will see yourself in a negative way.  If you were given positive feedback, you will react in a more positive way to the world around you.  You can become "addicted" to the opinions of others, slowly becoming less dependent on your ability to decide" who you are" for yourself and more dependent on the concept of "you" formed by others.   Only when we can identify our thoughts can we understand where they come from and how well they serve us.  By bringing objectivity and awareness to our thoughts as they appear, we can evaluate the merit, worthiness, and character of that thought.  We can ask ourselves:

Exercise

     1. Who is the thinker of the thought? ( whose "tapes" am I playing...mom? dad? church? friend? etc.)

    2. What is the purpose of this thought?  (What feeling or emotion does it bring up for me?)

    3. What will the consequences of this thought be?  ( Healthy or unhealthy habits being formed,  judgemental /critical or positive/ affirming messages to                        myself?)

This exercise will help you to train your mind to utilize its capacity to respond in a healthy way rather than a habitual way.  This is one of the steps to emotional freedom.

When the look inward brings "bad new"


You also know that when you begin to look within, there are usually some unpleasant feelings to confront.  Many decisions and attitudes have developed in response to " negative conditioning" or "survival skills".

Not every lesson of your conditioning was based on accuracy or truth.  Not every lesson that was valid in the past applies usefully to you now.  What do you do with this information?  The terrific part of this is that through awareness, you can begin creating new possibilities.  Awareness means opening your eyes to see the truth, so you are no longer blind. Once you have confronted and recognized that past events have affected you, but do not permanently own you, then your perspective, your beliefs and the way you look inward change forever.  Just the act of becoming aware automatically allow a shift to begin.


 Self-investigation 

First, we will look at the idea of identifying the characteristics of your feelings, thoughts, reactions, and actions at any given moment.  We could call that " who you are being" but instead let's call that "how you are being" ( there is an important distinction that we will examine in a little while).  Within this context, the description of " how you are being" at the time a situation is occurring can include:


-What you are thinking

-How you are feeling

-What you are saying/doing

-What you are telling yourself about your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions


What is the identity that you have created for yourself?

As you either witness or recall your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions would you describe them, and you, as gentle,

kind confrontational, harsh, happy, frustrated, optimistic, depressed, content, dissatisfied or resigned?  Are you being Resistant? Convincing? Receptive? Defensive? Protective? Loving ? Controlling? Engaging? Avoidant? Manipulative? Adaptable? withholding? Open-hearted?  Prevailing?


  When you observe "how you are being", do you see yourself reacting to the past? Or are you maintaining your focus in the present and creating a healthy action instead of a reaction?  Are you assuming a "role" to achieve some perceived purpose or are you able to express your real feelings about that moment?  Often we do not even want to identify or label how we are being because we might not like what we find out about ourselves or don't want to examine why we are being that way.  It is important that you approach this act of self-witness from an objective viewpoint, without judgment or " beating yourself up" for what you might see.  Even the most seemingly " negative" or "hurtful" way of being is, at some level, about helping us survive.  Whether "how we are being" is about summoning our power or resisting a situation, our goal is to defend and protect the identity that we have created about ourselves.  Whenever we are holding on to a part of our identity living out the beliefs that we have taken on from the world around us, or looking to protect our perspective and point of view, how we are being often simply a defense mechanism.  However painful and limiting they may be, defense mechanisms serve us until we decide we do not need them anymore.   Deciding when that moment comes, and letting go of what no longer serves, is part of the process of becoming a balanced person.


The difference of "how we are being" and "who are we being" the words we identify with " I am"


Example:  You are at the grocery store with your child.  You are in a hurry rushing around to get what you need and get out.  Your child sees his or her favorite type of colorful, sugary, cartoon- character on the front, cereal and loudly and repeatedly pleads, begs, and demands that you buy it.  The more frustrated and frazzled you feel the louder and more persistent your child gets, maybe even to the point of a full-blown tantrum.  At that moment, you may snap and say something you regret.  Now in that moment, you may think your child is beyond handling, and your child may very well be that difficult.  But is your child that wy all the time?  Or is your child simply behaving like that in that moment? Is that your child's identity, or a description of five minutes of behavior?


When we looked at "how we are being" we were describing some momentary aspect of our inner or outer experience,  But when we describe "who we are being"  it is all too easy to take on those descriptions as our long-term identity.  When we ask "who we are being" the most common reply begins with the words "I am ".  I am angry... I am happy... I am frustrated... I am sad.  The words "I am" are a statement about WHO YOU ARE, not just how you are feeling or behaving.  When you say "I am sad" you are no longer saying that you are feeling sad in that moment, You are claiming "being" a sad person as part of your identity. 


Problems of describing who we are

The point is simply about beginning to realize how much we humans create our experience of ourselves and our lives in each and every thought we have, word we speak, and action that we take, From that realization, you can begin to see just how much power, influence, and choice you have about the life you are living and the direction it is heading.  The problem with describing " who we are" and using " I am" statements is all too often we are doing so in a negative, limiting way, reinforcing beliefs about ourselves that we took on from others or decided for ourselves based on experiences in the past.  Thinking or speaking one " I am sick" statement is not going to permanently change the course of your physical health forever, But how often do we tell ourselves " I am ugly", I am fat" " I am damaged/ defective" "? How many times each and every day do thoughts like that go through your head without you even noticing because the tapes have been playing on repeat for the last 5, 10, 15, 20, 50, years of your life?


Exercise:


Just for a moment, try one of these " I am" statements on for size, observing your thoughts, feelings, and even body sensations as you think them to yourself or say them out loud to yourself.

-  " I am lovable"

-  "I am magnificent"

-  " I am beautiful, inside and out"

-  "I am intelligent and successful"


Did you believe what you thought/sid?  Or did some other voice pop in wit " yeah, right, who are you kidding"?  Did your body feel comforted and relaxed or did you get tense, maybe even nauseated, because the new message did not fit with what you already believe about yourself?  Through your cultivation of awareness, you are able to identify both "how " and "who" you are being and the awareness to the constant stream of " I am" messages we tell ourselves about ourselves every day, in all their various forms, and to the power that " I am" statements have to transform our lives for the worse or the better, allows us to begin creating a new identity for ourselves... one that is based not on past messages from the world around us, but on who we authentically are and what to be.


How you view and project your future

 Often it is not the past experience itself, but the painful emotions, stories, and beliefs that we continue to carry about the experience that we project into the future.  It is not about forgetting the past; it is about putting down the burdens we continue to carry from the past.  


Exploring ways to release the emotional charges that you might still carry from past situations and interactions 

By freeing yourself from those emotions, stories, and beliefs, your past can become simply a collection of experiences you have had up to now and your future can be powered by living in the present.  Inner conversation or self-talk is continuous.  This does not mean to suggest there is a necessity to suppress it.  The goal is to gain mastery over the " noise" portion, such as the negative conversation you have with yourself, which direct you away from experiencing the present moment.  The good news here is that most of the "noise", dialogues, self-talk, etc, you have are a pure habit.  You have been doing it for so long that you actually depend on it to avoid m justify, or excuse being responsible for the present moment.


 Mechanics of the mind- science of the mind:

What is a belief?

Belief is the union of thought and emotion.

What is thought and Emotion?

The thought is the mind. This is where you imagine your possibilities. The emotions love and fear. When we think a thought in our mind we fuel that thought through the love or the fear which we place into the thought and when we do that we create a feeling.

The definition of feeling: is the union of emotion and thought. Feeling happens in our heart. Feeling and belief are connected. In our heart, we have hate, sadness, joy, compassion these are feelings, not emotions. To have hate joy, sadness, and compassion, we must have a thought then the love or fear for that thought creates these feelings.

"Feeling is the union of thought and emotion"

Our belief translates the possibilities imagined to the physical reality of our world. Beliefs translate the possibilities. The quantum possibles exist as waves only but this physical world is made of atoms. When we where in school we were taught that atoms were made up of things. A thing in the center and things that orbit things that circulate. that's not what scientist believe today. Now the atom they believe looks like energy. The atom looks like waves of energy rather than particles of things. This is an important breakthrough. If you want to change the atom... we must change the energy! that the atom lives in. If you want to change the physical stuff in our world we must change the energy of that stuff. " Einstine said the field that connects everything together is what he called the governing agency of a particle. The field is what determines how the atom behaves." The sole governing agency"

-Albert Einstien

The field that we are talking about is made up of electrical energy it's made up of magnetic energies two energies that hold everything together. This is out of the Standard Physics Text.

Out of the traditional physic text, it says if you change the electric field you will change the way the atom behaves this is called the (Stark Effect) and if you change the magnetic field it is called the (Zeeman Effect ) changes the atom.

Science knows today you change the electrical field or you change the magnetic field you change the atom.

Review:

Science says now if you change the magnetic field and the electrical field you change that atom. There is one organ in your body that produces the strongest electrical field and the strongest magnetic field in your body is the heart. That is where you have the feeling. Those feelings are creating the electrical waves. the electrical and magnetic energy fields that change your body and changes your world. We just say you simply just have a feeling. The human heart sends out the electrical (EKG) This is what the ancients knew and left in there temples text in monasteries the language of there times. The human heart produces the strongest electrical magnetic fields in the body. The brain produces these fields but the hearts electrical field is 100 times stronger than the brain. The hearts magnetic field is up to 5,000 stronger times stronger than the brains magnetic field. Our heats produce the field that changes our world and can change our bodies.

Beliefs:

Change the Electrical Waves

Change Magnetic Waves What you believe about Yourself, about Others, your World, your Relationships God, Peace, is creating what is happening on this earth right now.

Belief changes matter, beliefs change our physical world. Waves of energy, the waves are contracting and expanding. They are coming and they are going. Scientist say these are the possibilities of your life, the coming and they're going. The waves are always in motion.

What would you call a wave of energy not coming or going? It would be pulsing if it is not coming or going. This is called a standing wave,

The quantum possibilities of your life are the waves coming and going. The standing wave is the reality. It's not coming or it's not going. Atoms are the waves that are stationary quantum possibilities are the waves that are coming and going. Your heart produces the waves that lock the possibilities into place in this moment. The heart is what makes the possibilities the standing waves.

What is a Belief? A belief is the union of a thought and emotion.

When we think of a possibility of our love or fear of that thought, we either imagine our peace, healing, relationships our abundance or lack of our mind. That is how we lock that possibility into place. And with our heart, we give that possibility life. We breathe life into the image into our mind through the feeling in our heart and make it real in our world.

Example how this happens.

Beliefs translate the possibilities into the atoms 

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"Looking within is stepping into an internal realm. You

become a witness to your own acts. Every category of self-investigation

in this course has techniques to assist in creating

internal balance. You will look at what emotions are “stuck” and

trace the feelings back to the original event where you made a

“stand” about who you were or what life was about. You will see

rationalizations, justifications or even excuses as to why you have

taken those stands.

The word “stand” seems to indicate an immovable,

unchangeable position, but by looking within, you will find your

“stands” are simply patterns of reactions and behaviors you took

on based on past situations or experiences, and therefore

completely within your power to change when the time is right for

you."

- Living Life As A Joyful Being: be ready for whatever life brings!

Self- How to turn our emotions into the moral resources that we need to confront challenges with hope as opposed to fear, with empathy as opposed to alienation, the sense of self-worth as opposed to self-doubt to be able to engage challenges proactively rather than try to distance ourselves. These 3 questions about (story of the self-story /of now). You can have a wonderful strategy but if nobody showed up, such a good strategy would not work. Example:

if people are scared if they are divided you don't have a strategy you have a theory the other dimension, motivation matters.  Just as much if not more than the whole question is how strategy and motivation work together.  The strategy says "how" motivations about "why" we make sense of the world in different ways.  One way we map the world is cognitively we map where things are in relation to each other and in the world that's very important. This helps us find our way from here to there, it helps us answer the questions you can do it, and what is the efficient way to do it?  Critically important it doesn't tell us why it matters just it just tells us how but not "why" so there's a second way in which we map the world and that's our effective or emotional mapping of the world and what we experience as good, as beautiful, that lifts us up that puts us down what disgusts us frightens us, enhances us.  The second mapping that emotional mapping is actually how we value the people, objects, and experiences of the world and so the valuing that we place is through that emotional side of mapping because that's where we go to answer the question why?   We've got two pieces now the strategy is the how domain narrative deals with the domain of why and it deals with the domain of the heart.  We suggest you need both to move the hands because you are not going to move the hands at all if you don't have the motivation, but you are not going to move then skillfully if you don't have the strategy.  It takes both dimensions to actually engage.

The second key point is if we are going to deal with values and knowing that values are not intellectual abstractions they are actually how we feel about things what we actually value. St. Agustin wrote it's one thing to know the good he said but another to love it.  Loving it is what enables action upon it. Emotion, motivation motors it all. That which moves us and what we value is what moves us.  When you get to that" choice" point you have to do this over that why are you choosing this over that you may go through a whole logical exercise but in the end it comes down to what do you value more, emotional information is critical information about ourselves and about the world and understanding how to operate in it. This is the whole idea, it is an understanding of emotion rather than a fear. Understanding that we are emotional creatures we are reasoning creatures and emotions is not without its own reason it's a way of teaching and learning and growing. We know that there are certain kinds of emotions that facilitate mindful action and others that inhibit actions. Most of the time we are on autopilot we are operating out of habit, and it is very efficient so our brains have evolved what is called a surveillance system. The surveillance system lets us know when something unexpected is happening. When we see a van, bus, truck coming towards us we experienced that as anxiety, this pulls us out of habit and puts us in a place where it can choose another course of action. It takes a fresh thinking, it takes an emotional engagement. This is a critical part of moving us to be ready to act, that is just one side of the equation. What is the default response to threat? I'm going to fight it or run away from it and freeze and hope it doesn't notice me. fight, flight, freeze. So culturally we developed tools to manage the fear reaction we developed emotional tools capable of managing the fear, managing isolation, and the self -doubt that we experience when we confront a threat. The tools of looking within will build self-sufficiency, personal power, balanced state of mind.

Exercise:

Where are you coming from and what is running through your mind. Looking at what thoughts are running your life.

Because our belief systems are really subconscious we are not aware of the things that were bred into us as children its time to figure out what they are.

Creating Space:

One a sheet of paper write what you think about men and on another sheet what you think about women what I think about money etc. any subject that comes out of your thoughts, whether they sound good or not just write them down.

Just take a look at them and see how many are positive and how many are negative and if you can take those negative and bring awareness that is how your brain is functioning now you can start clearing up your belief system. Now you can take a look at what is keeping you stuck in the mind. You get to realize what you really do believe about these things in your life. You can't change your thoughts if you don't know what your thoughts are. Your mind is like a computer and there is a law of thinking. If you have a gorgeous computer put in front of you and you don't know how to use it then it becomes useless to you.

If you learn the language of the computer "your mind" and learn how to use it just like your body and mind controls you can live a more balanced joyful life. What you think and what you believe will come true for you. Take a look at how your thoughts create your life. And when we can get that, then we can make enormous changes!

Looking at the story of your life:

Most people have negative conditioning about themselves.

I'm not good enough, I will never be enough etc. I'm not lovable. When we come from that space it's really hard to create that space that is healthy for us. Learning to accept yourself the way you are this is a hard one for people because we grow up thinking we are not good enough many times. Recognizing the being of self-worth. You start to treat your self differently.  

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Mechanics Of The Mind

The science of the mind:

What is a belief?

Belief is the union of thought and emotion.

What is thought and Emotion?

The thought is the mind. This is where you imagine your possibilities. The emotions love and fear. When we think a thought in our mind we fuel that thought through the love or the fear which we place into the thought and when we do that we create a feeling.

The definition of feeling: is the union of emotion and thought. Feeling happens in our heart. Feeling and belief are connected. In our heart, we have hate, sadness, joy, compassion these are feelings, not emotions. To have hate joy, sadness, and compassion, we must have a thought then the love or fear for that thought creates these feelings.

"Feeling is the union of thought and emotion"

Our belief translates the possibilities imagined to the physical reality of our world. Beliefs translate the possibilities. The quantum possibles exist as waves only but this physical world is made of atoms. When we where in school we were taught that atoms were made up of things. A thing in the center and things that orbit things that circulate. that's not what scientist believe today. Now the atom they believe looks like energy. The atom looks like waves of energy rather than particles of things. This is an important breakthrough. If you want to change the atom... we must change the energy! that the atom lives in. If you want to change the physical stuff in our world we must change the energy of that stuff. " Einstine said the field that connects everything together is what he called the governing agency of a particle. The field is what determines how the atom behaves." The sole governing agency"

-Albert Einstien

The field that we are talking about is made up of electrical energy it's made up of magnetic energies two energies that hold everything together. This is out of the Standard Physics Text.

Out of the traditional physic text, it says if you change the electric field you will change the way the atom behaves this is called the (Stark Effect) and if you change the magnetic field it is called the (Zeeman Effect ) changes the atom.

Science knows today you change the electrical field or you change the magnetic field you change the atom.

Review:

Science says now if you change the magnetic field and the electrical field you change that atom. There is one organ in your body that produces the strongest electrical field and the strongest magnetic field in your body is the heart. That is where you have the feeling. Those feelings are creating the electrical waves. the electrical and magnetic energy fields that change your body and changes your world. We just say you simply just have a feeling. The human heart sends out the electrical (EKG) This is what the ancients knew and left in there temples text in monasteries the language of there times. The human heart produces the strongest electrical magnetic fields in the body. The brain produces these fields but the hearts electrical field is 100 times stronger than the brain. The hearts magnetic field is up to 5,000 stronger times stronger than the brains magnetic field. Our heats produce the field that changes our world and can change our bodies.

Beliefs:

Change the Electrical Waves

Change Magnetic Waves What you believe about Yourself, about Others, your World, your Relationships God, Peace, is creating what is happening on this earth right now.

Belief changes matter, beliefs change our physical world. Waves of energy, the waves are contracting and expanding. They are coming and they are going. Scientist say these are the possibilities of your life, the coming and they're going. The waves are always in motion.

What would you call a wave of energy not coming or going? It would be pulsing if it is not coming or going. This is called a standing wave,

The quantum possibilities of your life are the waves coming and going. The standing wave is the reality. It's not coming or it's not going. Atoms are the waves that are stationary quantum possibilities are the waves that are coming and going. Your heart produces the waves that lock the possibilities into place in this moment. The heart is what makes the possibilities the standing waves.

What is a Belief? A belief is the union of a thought and emotion.

When we think of a possibility of our love or fear of that thought, we either imagine our peace, healing, relationships our abundance or lack of our mind. That is how we lock that possibility into place. And with our heart, we give that possibility life. We breathe life into the image into our mind through the feeling in our heart and make it real in our world.

Example how this happens.

Beliefs translate the possibilities into the atoms